How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
