It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
