i permit you to call me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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