how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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