i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
