Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
