Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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