don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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