Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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