Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
