So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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