remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Are we still banned from the library?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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