apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
