Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
