Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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