Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This is not my ceiling
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
