After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
