We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
