it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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