i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
