I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Duck Duck Cougar?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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