Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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