8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
