My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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