Me. At least after what I've been through.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
