i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
