I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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