Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
