3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
