yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
