the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
