Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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