i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
