It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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