Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
