My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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