Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
