I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
