The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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