Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
