I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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