Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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