Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
