please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
