i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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