how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How many fucks given?
0.12846
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
