my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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