8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
