I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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