The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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