That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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